Anger

I’ve never done well with anger. It scares me. In times past, slammed doors and the silent treatment left me with something akin to fear of abandonment. I can be slow to recognize my own anger, for instance when castigated for something I didn’t do. Even being in the presence of anger not directed at me makes me uncomfortable.

Why get angry? I don’t mean, what is there to get angry about? Many people can come up with a ready list, especially in these tumultuous times. I mean, what purpose does anger serve? In the face of threats, it energizes humans to choose fight over flight. I’m glad there are fighters whose fury rouses them to battle injustice.

We don’t all have to fill the same niche. When I choose my battles, dislike of anger serves me well. Conflict averse but not conflict avoidant, I’m strongly motivated to raise issues in ways that save face for all, address problems rather than blame, and seek solutions rather than victory. I can’t always choose an emotion, but I can choose whether to wallow in it. Unless I need anger to fuel a necessary fight, I’d rather wallow in contentment and gratitude.

Image: Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash.