Sarah Gibbard Cook
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Self-Care and Self-Improvement

9/17/2018

6 Comments

 
After six months failing to cure a pinched nerve, I told the physical therapist I was ready to graduate or flunk out. The therapy was wearing me down. He approved and brightened my summer with a lighter, maintenance routine.

There’s always more you could add to your life for self-care and self-improvement. Exercise, learn a language, eat right, meditate, and on and on. Trouble is, we all know there is a limit. If it isn’t hours in the day, it’s the stress of being more and more on duty, even if the duty is to oneself. Where’s the self-care in beating up on ourselves for all the self-care we aren’t doing?

Maybe if I’d gone further with physics or calculus, I could devise a formula to calculate the turning point between worthwhile and obsessive self-care. Perhaps economics offers a clue in the concept of marginal utility: the diminishing benefit gleaned from adding one more unit of whatever.

Not having mastered any of those disciplines, I give a lot of weight to trial and error. What leaves me sluggish or tense? What refreshes me? I used to journal three full pages a morning, come what may. Being more flexible about it improves my spirits, but skipping it two days in a row throws me off balance. There’s nothing like personal experience as a guide for where to draw the line.
6 Comments
Lisa
9/17/2018 08:30:10 am

I've talked about this with a young (35 years old) friend of mine. She was developing a longer and longer night routine, including flossing, a skin care regimen, hair care, tidy house, and more, every night, and it became a burden.

Articles abound, "Do This One Thing and Your Life Will Be Perfect." And another. And still more. All written with authoritative voices. Add 'em all on! We're Americans — more is better! What they amount to though, to me, are just more ways to feel guilty.

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Sarah link
9/17/2018 03:12:36 pm

Absolutely! More ways to feel guilty. More ways to blame the person whose life isn't perfect (i.e., everyone) for that imperfection: "But have you tried . . .?" Yes, supersize everything and more is better, and also we're Americans so we ought to be able to control everything if we just do all the right things.

Not an argument for fatalism or complacency, but moderation and realistic expectations.

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Corrine
9/17/2018 11:21:58 am

Yup, me too. Piriformis syndrome had me unable to walk to and from our mail box. Months of chiropractor had us both saying, “Well, if this is not working...” so I quit! And one day I realized it didn’t hurt anymore and I could walk all I wanted again. Must be this getting older thing.

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Sarah link
9/17/2018 02:59:23 pm

Sounds like precisely what I had, though no one used the phrase "piriformis syndrome." Nice to hear yours went away! Mine is still present, but much less disturbing - PT says partly that the exercises helped for a while, and partly I'm getting used to it. The fact that this getting older thing (which mostly I enjoy) can include one day realizing something doesn't hurt any more.

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Rebecca link
9/25/2018 02:30:46 pm

Knowing when to say when...
My paternal grandmother is famous for saying, "Do your best and then to hell with it!" I think of that often.

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Sarah link
9/26/2018 07:30:54 am

Love your grandmother's saying! I think I'll adopt and use it.

Sometimes the challenge is to have a reasonable definition of "your best." Just because it's possible to do something more doesn't always mean it makes sense to.

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    I'm a historian who writes novels and literary nonfiction. My home base is Madison, Wisconsin. 

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